Sharing is extremely hard. I wanted to blog about my health journey to help others who are experiencing the same thing. Complaining and being weak is not in my blood. Being vulnerable is very scary for the simple fact people judge you. People say they don’t care what others think but in reality, we all do just a little. Beginning this blog, I shared what I thought would be a diagnosis and my recovery from it. However, it is not that. I am lost and in pain. Trying to find answers in which I don’t have. Feeling like the life I am living is not mine anymore but the symptoms in which I survive from every day.
My symptoms began at a very young age. Occasional blackouts and chronic nose bleeds started from when I was 8 years old. In 2010 the doctors diagnosed me for Neurocardiogenic Syncope. My doctor wanted to give me a pacemaker because my heart would pause for 30 seconds every time I blacked out. He was scared my body wouldn’t be able to start my heart back up again. Controlling my blackouts through food I avoided a pacemaker.
Horrible allergies started at age 5. When I moved to Vegas every allergy season I would need an inhaler. At age 14 I experienced horrible gut issues and lived my life on nexium. It didn’t help much so eventually I just stopped it. In and out of the ER at age 15 for strep and other sinus infections. If I got bit by a bug my body would swell up in huge lumps.
Symptoms that go unrecognized as a child. Being called lazy for chronic fatigue. Having brain fog and dyslexia makes you stupid. I grew up thinking very poorly of myself. Having no guidance and no friends. At the age of 20 I got breast implants. I got them because society made women feel if they didn’t have boobs we were not good enough. Growing up on welfare and after high school living on the streets was something I never wanted to go back to. So, I worked in bars and clubs so I would never be poor again. That came with a price because in order to work at these places you had to look a certain way hence the implants.
I remember having constant fights with my managers at work about wearing a sweater. Not showing the “goods” was unacceptable. I needed to wear a sweater because I would get extremely sick when I became cold. My immune system was always compromised. In 2013 I stopped working in that industry. I was very athletic as a young child and as I grew up I tried to continue that lifestyle. After leaving that industry in 2013 I decided to focus more on my fitness career which is why I am here now.
Ever since I became pregnant with Bella more symptoms accumulated. I was extremely sick my whole pregnancy. So sick that I honestly, I think if I got pregnant again I would die. I am not being dramatic either. Breast implants did not make me sick. I was already sick. Did it make me worse later on, maybe? Removing my implants is something I am looking into but that will not get me better. Many of you consistently tell me that is problem. I am speaking up about this because although it is a problem for a lot of women it will not fix me. Me being so sick going under could do me more harm than good.
Mindset is everything. When your mind isn’t in the right place life feels like it is crashing down on you. The past few weeks have been extremely hard. One day I woke up with hives from head to toe. I get floaters in my eyes and they get worse every day. The left side of my body is the only side I have problems with. Especially my left hand, it becomes crippled for a few minutes a day. Not knowing what to do I decided to call my doctors, went to the ER, even panicked a little bit. I thought to myself no worries it will get better tomorrow. The hives decided to stay and the feeling in my left side continues to worsen.
I was told I most likely have MCAS (Mass Cell Activated Syndrome.) MCAS has very similar symptoms as Lyme Disease. My Integrative Wellness Doctor said MCAS, “is when your lymphatic system is pushing out toxins. It is not an actual diagnosis.” Honestly Western Medicine loves to blanket symptoms as an actual diagnosis. Probably our fault, right? We always want a simple answer and sometimes there is none. I keep saying this but Western Medicine has failed me. I been a poking pig since I was a child. The past 2 years I been doing things holistically. One main reason is because I strongly believe food is medicine. Especially since I avoided a pacemaker through food and stayed out of the hospital through fitness.
Holistic doctors don’t take insurance. Paying a holistic doctor and their treatment regimen is extremely expensive. I went through the Great Plains Lab to test for mycotoxins and did their OAT test. Came up positive for mycotoxins, candida, and other stuff I can’t read. Originally, I thought I was positive for Lyme but the Western Medicine Doctor didn’t read it correctly. So, I didn’t think I needed another Lyme test. Now I want the Igenex test. This is one of the best ways to test for Lyme but it is an expensive test and I need to find another doctor to order it. In Western Medicine you need referrals for everything with bad insurance plans. If you deal with that type of insurance you know the pain I am going through.
I am not happy with any of my current doctors both in Western medicine and holistic. As much love as I have for my holistic doctor I do question me getting better with her. My symptoms have worsened and she is fairly busy. How do I know what I was diagnosed with is gone or getting better if there is no way to find out. The only way I would know is if I feel better and that I do not. I do believe I have chronic Lyme disease and I also know that mold is contributing to it. Pushing through life everyday isn’t enough anymore. Working a normal job isn’t realistic because of my health. Posting on social media 3 times a day to keep the algorithms going is too hard. Being fake to keep up with appearances has never been my style. My truth is in these pages.
I am there every day despite my pain. Eating to heal my body has kept me out of the hospital. I live and breathe health and fitness. It helps me mentally and physically. Everything I share is true. It comes straight from my heart. My soul purpose is to help those around me. I hope by me sharing my story and my passion and knowledge for fitness and health others can benefit from it. One day I hope to find exact answers to help with those who struggle the same way as me. Until then I can only share what keeps me active, eliminates my pain, and what helps me be the best mom I can to my daughter. Remember no matter what life throws at you if you can’t pick yourself up nothing happens. Time does not wait for no one. In a nut shell that’s my update.